Metro Football Pool

Riiiiight. At least we all got the wager game correct. The Packers are about the only sure bet so far this season thanks to the Philly divas and the ineptness of Baltimore. How do you beat Pittsburgh twice and lose to Jacksonville and Seattle? Maybe it’s just an act of total disrespect… like “ha, we beat you but clearly Seattle is way tougher”.

The Dirt Dog posted the low score this week with a dirty 50. We know you’re just trying to cool down before entering the hot tub in in week 12, but you only have one more week to get your stuff straight. Submitting your picks before the Thursday night game would be a good start :).

Rob’s cheating antics surfaced this week as he posted the high score. If you look at last year’s archives this is about the same time things began falling his way. Curious. However, the French is putting a damper on pool life and back in 1st with another solid performance. He did say he would invite us all over for crepes (thin pancakes) if he wins any money. I like mine with lemon and sugar.

It looks like we have another easy wager game the way the Chiefs have been playing… again. Apparently someone with a weaker and more inaccurate arm than Matt Cassel will be their starting quarterback against the Patriots. Could shape up to be a worse beat down than last night. Good luck and don’t forget to submit all your picks before the game on Thursday night.

Thursday night games start this week so picks sheets will be due on Thursday before the game starts. Get it right or pay the price.

For the past 3 weeks, most of us have gone 0-3 on wager games… which blows. While Lori posted the high score this week, the real surprise has been Meghan’s dramatic rise into the top 5. Meghan typically does a ton of research when evaluating picks… spreads, historic match-ups, player injuries, game simulations, weather predictions, expert opinions, team moral, colors, mascots, etc. However, her real secret is player hating. Vick and Rivers are prime examples. Both she and defenses have exploited them over the past 2 weeks. Like Tom and Lesley, I’m going to start having her “look over” my picks moving forward. She’s up 21 spots over the past couple. Keep hating. Peace.

Anne didn’t do so great this week, but points are points I guess. The good news is that the Hot Tub will start up in Week 12. For those of you struggling in life, this is an opportunity for a fresh start. If you don’t know what it’s all about, you can do the hokey pokey and read up on it about halfway down the rules page.

… and not in the sense of “wow, that girl grew up to be a nasty dirty trick”… more like the Chiefs played a dirty trick on most of us last night. However, it only turned out to be most because Lesley submitted some solid picks for herself and Tom. Tom had been floundering in the pool for quite some time and after several weeks of mental abuse by Lesley, he signed over all picking rights. I can’t blame him because I too would grow tired of hearing the word “disgrace” and that I “don’t know #$%^ about football and should just shut up and finish the dishes”.  But, in Lesley’s defense, you can’t knock the results as they now both sit in 1st and 2nd; obviously with Lesley in 1st.

The bad news for Brittany is that she posted the low score this week. On the positive, her kids are awesome and had a great Halloween. By far the person who had the roughest week was Tebow. I’m still a fan, but Detroit’s defense humiliated him. I have to admit though, it was pretty funny to watch Tulloch do a “Tebow” after sacking him for the 10th time or something… how many guys can say they Tebowed Tebow. Nice!

The Hot Tub will begin in week 11 for all those wondering. Hopefully Lesley and Lesley 2 will need to enter by then. Good luck this week and don’t forget to submit your picks on time!

The bad news: when any baseball game is more fun to watch than MNF football, there’s a problem. The good news: we all fell victim to Ravens… quoth the Ryan, “Nevermore.”

It’s no surprise that Tina posted the high score when all our scores were so low :). Just kidding (kind of)… nice work. However, after 3 seasons of consistent picking I’ve never been able to mention my lovely fiance and I’m tired of Tina stealing the thunder every week. If the Raven’s would have won (or Tina didn’t wager what I originally believed to be an odd 11 points on the Ravens), Meghan would have posted the high score. She still placed 2nd and is making her way towards the top 10. Meghan has been a winner her whole life and always associates herself with winners… like that guy in 1st right now.

As for low points. I had to go triple check the calculations, but somehow Lori actually did manage a 29. I can help you, Lori… stop picking the Colts, they suck. Good luck this week and don’t forget to submit your picks on time!

For some reason, gaining any ground on the Frenchman is more difficult than Miami parting ways with Tony Sparano. It must be pretty sad for our Dolphin fans watching how pumped he gets after continually going 3 and out in the redzone and relying on the golden foot of their offensive MVP… from the days of Dan Marino to the era Dan Carpenter. The Dolphins flat out blow like Frenchy’s high score this week. You did well too, Sampson.

Speaking of Dolphin loyals, Keith tanked this week with a big wager on his mammalian heroes. Very fortunate for Danita and Tina… I wasn’t looking for you to prove me right that last week was a fluke, Tina!

Good luck this week and don’t forget to get your picks in out time! Ray… it’s ok if you forget.

The Bucs lost their manhood to Sourdough Sam this weekend. I’m still sticking to the story that this game was an aberration, although a potentially mojo crushing one. Those kids need to step up and help.

Speaking of statistical outliers, Bill Eshenbaugh makes his 2011 debut by posting this week’s high. We were all taking bets on whether it would be on a high or a low. I must admit, I’m a little skeptic because Tina came in 2nd… but maybe this is the big turnaround that everyone didn’t see coming!

Lee came close to not turning in his picks this week by actually turning them in for a sweet 39! Scores like this will lead to a very interesting subplot at the battle of the bottom with Kevin. Ok… maybe not so interesting.

Don’t forget to submit your picks by Sunday. It seems like everyone just keeps losing ground to the current leader 🙂

Not that I’d pick Pittsburgh against any team in their division let alone against the Vikings or Dolphins, but it seems like that Steeler D has gotten softer than Polamalu’s hair. This is very soft and silky according to Head & Shoulders. OK… maybe they could beat the Dolphins in a home game but only because a coaching change is imminent. Tom and Lesley feel the same way.

Ray French. This will probably be the last/only year you’ll be in our pool. I know you picked Dallas because you’re passionate about those milk maids, so in theory you really only missed one game… this is scary because now you’ve learned the extent of the awfulness of the Vikes/McNabb. We would all be fine if you decided not to turn in picks this week.

Tina… you knew this was coming eventually and I’m tired of picking on Hector for not submitting… computer calendars exist to help manage life’s most important tasks (a fortune cookie message I found the other day). Tina… even though you are not presently becoming a better pool playa, I do have a feeling that you are becoming a better person. I can sense this because your score completely balanced out your good bud, Danita, who is now on the verge of breaking into the top 10 after posting the second highest score this week. The goose and the golden egg!

Good luck and don’t forget to submit your picks in on time!

Week 3 is traditionally the most challenging so don’t be too hard on yourselves if you failed to run with the elite. In the past four years, the participants that held spots in the top 3 always came away with greenery… with 3rd place typically ending in 1st, 1st ending in 3rd, and 2nd staying the same. I’m thinking we can save everyone the time and trouble and just divvy the cash up now; clearly Kevin wouldn’t mind after he dropped the ball on his picks this week. He does have an Ochocinco aura about him. Maybe he was just doing Brittany a favor.

Ron posted the high score but according to him, “it was all luck”. I wasn’t really familiar with this expression, but after researching, I have my doubts that he’s the real deal.

I know everyone is really pumped about this Monday night since up until this point many of you have been hating on the Bucs with your crap submissions. I’m sure there’ll be a lot of “TB for 16” submitted this week… fair weather fans. One piece of history: the last time the Bucs had a home MNF game (they were still televised on ABC back then), we squandered a 21 point lead with 3:43 remaining in the 4th and lost to the Colts in overtime. Good luck and don’t forget to turn in your picks in on time!

Each week we try to stick with the negatives, but Deven has shut down all communication with me after handing him an ass whipping in fantasy football this past weekend. The beat down was so epic, that some of us feel as if he may never leave his home or speak to any human again. However, the truth is we miss him and want to make up for all the crap talk. So what’s more fitting than comparing his top performance in the pool, to Tony Romo’s one-lunged, manly overtime victory against those ferocious 49ers. I know… was it really that impressive when the average quarterback can outperform Alex Smith with both lungs punctured? You see how rugged Romo looks in this GQ picture… sexy! As a small reminder for being so masculine in this week’s lone victory, you’ll receive a life sized, personalized version of this photo to mount above your bed… congrats my friend!

There were many side bets on when Lee Nelson would stop turning in picks. Surprisingly he exceeded expectations by making it to week 2. There’s a lot of speculation on why he traditionally only plays on weeks 1, 4, & 6… but we always appreciate his donation!

This week’s pick sheet has been posted and is due by Sunday before game time! I’m sorry for all of you that did not submit your Super Bowl picks. I know the reason we invited most of you is that following basic instructions and/or reading is not one of your strengths, so we’ll take the blame and hopefully your money :). Good luck this week… I have a feeling the Chiefs are going to make history this season!

For those of you that just like to know that this week’s pick sheet and the current results are posted (main standings)… they are posted and you can avoid reading my bs (I do say the full ‘s’ word later on in this post though so it’s pretty epic). I’ve also updated the payouts page for a little extra motivation. When you submit your pick sheet this week you need to include your selection for the Super Bowl teams in the body of the email… very important and could be the difference between winning and losing. For the people (ladies) that are unfamiliar with the conferences, you need to pick an AFC and a NFC team. Consult the NFL teams page if in doubt before submitting a stupid combination that can’t exist and facing significant public ridicule. It’s harsh but again some tough love for your success.

Don’t let the Redskins’ win fool you, the Native American teams of the NFL have been oppressed for the past 20 years. If the Chiefs don’t quickly get their shit together (hey… Ron Jaworski can say shit on MNF), their season is going to look like the Trail of Tears; minus killing innocent people and ‘relocating’ any survivors to more desirable destinations. Or maybe not.

Speaking of getting destroyed, Gary was also almost outscored by the Bills. His 49 was not a great victory for the men as somehow Diane and Brittany put up more points. It’s to be expected that the women would flounder, but come on Gary. Even more concerning is that you’ve already submitted your pick sheet for this week… c’mon mang?!?!

Then there’s this dude, Ray French. A transfer from our sister pool, Ray seemed nice enough on email and was granted permission to enter our league. Clearly, he’s experienced in the chat rooms and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him on to Catch a Predator… he says all the right things, you invite him in, and then he has no problem taking advantage of a situation. He’s as dangerous as putting the ball in Tony Romo’s hands in the final 2 minutes of a game… yea, we know you like the Cowboys, Ray… we know a lot.

There are a lot of big names on top of our leader board right now (particularly that dashing stud in 6th). Good luck this week and don’t forget to get your picks in on time!